The most common mistake in picking personal statement examples

It has been said that imitation is the best form of flattery. Well, not always. In the case of writing a personal statement, choosing the best model that you will pattern your essay form is crucial if you want to write an excellent paper. 

The most common mistake in picking personal statement examples is referring from the wrong type of admissions essay. Just because you were able to find a perfectly written – both grammar and content-wise – personal statement does not mean that you can use it as a template for your own personal statement. There are various factors that you need to consider in choosing what will work best for you. 

Below are some of the mistakes you have to avoid if you want to write a great personal statement – one that showcases you – and not someone else.

Choosing a personal statement example written for a different level of education. You may have found what you believe is a well-written personal statement. 

It’s very direct, clearly written, simple yet elegant. But it was written for a college admissions essay. While you, on the other hand, are looking to get into medical school or law school or a doctorate program. Since these are more advanced levels of education, evidently a lot more is expected of you. 

The level of your writing should also be at an advanced level. Your writing style should reflect your level of education and maturity which is of course lacking in a high school graduate looking to get into a university or college.

Using a personal statement example from a different field of study

Different fields of study require a different set of skills and technical know-how. You have to make sure that the example you’re using or referring from is in the same or similar field as you are. For instance, if you are applying to get into a medical school, look for a personal statement example from the field of medicine or the natural sciences. 

This way, you will know exactly what set of skills you need to include or disregard in your paper. You will also know the writing style which best suits the type of school you’re trying to get into.

Referring from a personal statement that is long, wordy, and complicated. You might think that since the sample you found is full of complex and big words, that it will impress the reader. This is not true. You have to remember that the reader is probably swamped with hundreds if not thousands of personal statements like yours that he has to read, evaluate, and try to understand. 

The minute you use complicated words that do not add any value to your skill or ability, you can be assured that the reader will not go any further after the first paragraph or even the first sentence. Keep your words simple but always reflective of the level of your education and the field of your study. In everything you do and write, do not bore your reader.

So take the time to do your research and be patient in trying to get the perfect example of personal statement that best suits your taste and needs. It’s just a few clicks away.

The Most common mistakes in writing personal statement examples

A personal statement can either make you or break you. It can either get you admitted if your strengths are properly highlighted or it can send your application for admission to the reject bin. 

Knowing how to properly please and tickle the right spot of the Admissions Committee in a personal statement is not as complicated as you might think if you have an idea of what they want to see in your personal statement or admissions essay. 

To understand this better, your personal statement can be divided into two parts: the content or substantive part and the writing part per se.

Examples of personal statement’s grammatical or technical errors: No matter how interesting you may be as a prospective student in the school you’re applying for or how high your GPA is, if your grammar and technical writing skills do not convey that you are intelligent, more often than not, the reader will think that you’re not. 

A personal statement’s function is not only to give the reader an idea of who you are as a person and as a student but it also shows your analytical, organizational, and writing skills among others.

The first and most common mistake you can make are with your grammar like using the proper tense of the verb, punctuation, organizing your thoughts into a coherent sentence, and other technical errors. Carelessness often aggravates the situation such as misspellings or typographical errors. 

It shows your lack of commitment to your essay. The next worst thing you can do, if you haven’t already messed up your paper, is to use words or statements that even you can’t understand. Using big, highfaluting words may seem impressive but it can also come across as arrogance to the reader. In short, you may pass off as a big show-off. 

Always remember, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. 

Best to keep your statements simple, substantiated, and direct to the point but avoid making the mistake of using informal language in writing. An example of this would be, “I was like totally excited to go to your school.” This translates to a BIG NO NO.

Examples of content-based errors: Another common mistake is what you put in your personal statement. You have to remember that you’re selling yourself. One of the most (if not the most) important things you have to do is to grab your reader’s attention and never let it go. 

Once they’re hooked on the first few sentences, you can be sure they’ll be interested to read the rest of what you wrote. To do this, avoid being vague and/or using clichés that more often than not are being used by every other personal statement writer. Make sure that the reader sees something different, yet real and interesting in your paper. 

For example, instead of saying “I have great leadership skills and I understand the value of teamwork” you can say, “ I once was the editor-in-chief of our school newspaper and I had to manage every department and coordinate with the editors to make sure that we meet the deadline with quality work.” This shows the reader of a concrete situation and practical application of your skills and abilities which makes it easier to conceptualize what kind of person and student you are.

Why do you need to read examples of personal statements

Not all of us are born with perfect vocabulary skills, great writing or literary techniques, or with the brain that can sort ideas in a flash and write them on paper. If you are like most people, you need to get ideas or writing samples before you can begin to write. It’s just like trying to find your inspiration or getting yourself in the zone.

 Writing a personal statement is no different. You may think it’s simple or easy since you’re just writing about someone you’re most familiar with – yourself – but this can prove to be a daunting task because obviously there’s so much you can write. 

Organizing your thoughts on paper is one thing, knowing what to write and how to write it is another.

The importance of reading examples of personal statements, especially the well written ones, cannot be emphasized enough. It will save you time in writing and also give you the best ideas on how to write an excellent if not a perfect personal statement. 

Below are the reasons why you should read examples of personal statements before writing your own

1. You will know how to start writing. For most people, starting is the difficult part. Getting on paper the first ideas that come into your head is crucial because it will set the mood for the whole paper. You will be able to use the sample personal statement as your template.

2. You will know what skills, interests, or abilities you need to highlight for a particular degree or field of study.  This is very important since you can’t just write everything down about yourself without regard for what actually matters to the reader. You have to be able to sort through your qualifications that will best represent yourself and set you apart from the other applicants. Not everything good about yourself is necessary to get you into the program or the school you’re applying for. It is best to know your strengths that you need to present and weaknesses that you need to downplay. You will get an idea from similar personal statements you can get from the internet.

3. The sample will help you organize your thoughts. You are most likely riddled with so many ideas and thoughts that you won’t know which ones to write first. The example of personal statement can serve as your guide on how to chronologically arrange your ideas into one coherent paper.

4. You will avoid grammar mistakes and learn some writing techniques in the process. No matter how great the content of your personal statement may be, if you’re using the wrong words or punctuations or verb tenses, your application will be disregarded and your intellect may even be questioned. Having a good example of personal statement can help you avoid the most common grammatical errors that plague most essays.

5. Two heads are better than one. Someone has already taken the trouble of giving you an idea of what to write and how to write. It would be irrational for you if you choose not to take help being offered.

How to Write About Your Personal Heroes

Think about the reasons why you consider this person your hero. What exactly about him is great?  Write what’s amazing about her or him.  Be specific when you’re praising your hero. Give examples of what he does that’s heroic in your eyes.  Before talking about your hero, provide a general description of what a hero is to you.

A hero means different things to different people. 

A hero can be someone who has made a huge impact on your life, someone who goes above and beyond for the good of others and expects nothing in return.  A hero may be someone who has been there for you and who has never let you down.   Your hero could be someone who inspires you.    

To some, a hero might be closer to home, like a mom or father. To others, it might be their favorite fantasy figure. To others a true hero might be someone who saves lives. What is a hero?

Everybody needs a hero.  

You just need someone to look up to. It gives you a feeling of who do you want to become.  You can decide to write about your personal hero or the famous hero.    A famous hero is someone that many people know such as a president, a religious leader, or an author. 

A personal hero is someone that you know such as a friend, a family member, or a teacher.  When writing about your personal hero, you can discuss how you met him and how long you have known him.  Also, your favorite memories with your hero are very easy to write about.

If your hero is someone that you admire, write about what it is that you admire about him.  It is better if you can narrate a specific story or situation that explains why you look up to your hero for that specific trait or action.   In your essay about your personal hero, it is important to include the unique and special qualities of your hero and what sets him apart from others.   

You could also choose someone who fought for his rights as your hero.    

To make your essay more interesting, you can write about the setbacks encountered by your hero.  You can describe how your hero had to overcome the difficulties and struggles in his life.  Everyone needs a hero. It does not matter if that hero is real or fictional. 

 You can choose among cultural or social heroes, historical figures, contemporary personalities or fictional ones.

Drawing Inspiration From Personal Statement Examples

Personal statement must demonstrate that you have: relevant skills and experience.  In personal statement examples, you will see that the writers explained how they have the motivation and desire, and the right attitude and values.  After reading samples and drawing inspiration from them, think about your opening sentence.    

Important part

The personal statement is an important part of your application package. Depending on the topic you choose, the essay you write provides additional evidence of your intellectual achievement. 

The essay is also an opportunity for the readers of your application to get a feel for you as a person.  In a personal statement, you can put your academic record into the context of your opportunities and obstacles.  There is no one correct way to write a personal statement, but in general those who will read your essay are looking for the evidence of your achievements that isn’t reflected in other parts of your application.  Also they want to know how and why the events that you describe have shaped your attitude, focus, and, most of all, your intellectual vitality.

If you are applying for a job, focus on how you have developed the appropriate skills for the job. Convey your enthusiasm and desire.  

Drawing Inspiration

Include your relevant work experience, but make sure that they are not too long. And that the events are arranged in a chronological order.  Highlight your achievements and other positive things but do not overdo it and never lie about your qualifications.  Write your personal statement in such a way that it is parallel to the goals and mission of the institution that you are aiming to impress.

From personal statement examples, you will notice that the writers keep it simple. Personal statement should not be filled with with big words to avoid sounding stiff. 

 It is very important to stay clear of slangs and quotations that have become clichés. Clichés may be true but they will not distinguish you from hundreds of other applicants. Don’t use the same word over and over; try consulting a thesaurus to find an equivalent expression to add variety.  

Personal statement examples also use the active voice instead of the passive voice. Be inspired from personal statements that do not include whining, complaining, sarcasm, anger and too much aggressiveness.  In your concluding paragraph, reiterate your commitment.  

Before submitting your personal statement, analyze if it is persuasive and interesting.  Double check your grammar, spelling and punctuation.   Use positive and strong action words.

Bad Application Essays Versus Good Ones

An essay should have a strong and precise main idea to support its effective progression. A good essay will be written based on a theme introduced in the introductory paragraph of the essay. Rest of the body paragraphs should be linked to the main subject.  

A Good essays

A good essay stays on the focus–even apparent digressions bring the reader back. There is also a logical progression to the arguments. A good essay is written after a comprehensive research on the subject from various sources.  It is not enough that the writer states opinions in the essay. There should be reference to readings and information that support his points. Also, if the writer decides to incorporate his resources to the essay, then he should not have forgotten to cite sources and authors.

A Bad essays

A bad essay mentions other things about someone in an essay even though it wasn’t relevant to the topic.   Also, if the essay has awkward wording and far too many ideas in it, without any logical flow, it clearly is a bad essay.   A writer should not introduce a paragraph with one topic and then leap to another topic in the next sentence.  If the essay includes events and dates, these must be in chronological order.   There must be a coherent timeline within the paragraph.  An essay is entirely sloppy when it is full of spelling errors, grammatical errors, misused phrases and wrong subject-verb agreement. If essay lacks cohesion and ideas are scattered all around without much logic then this will definitely be considered a poor essay.

A bad essay is something which shows that the writer did not make an effort to select an interesting topic.  However, the topic may be interesting but it does not mean that the essay will be written.  

This happens when the writer is not passionate or interested in the least about his chosen or assigned topic.  A very clear indication that an essay is a bad one is when you read bad jokes.  A poorly written essay has lots of repetition of ideas and statements. 

A bad essay lacks good content from reliable and respected sources.  An essay is well-written if the reader could state the main argument in a sentence or two. On the other hand, a bad essay is when a reader cannot easily summarize what he read about.  

If an essay does not display logic, coherence, and creativity, then it is a poorly written one.

How Colleges Crack Down On Admission Essay Plagiarism

In 2016, Business Week magazine published news story on Smeal College of Business, a part of Pennsylvania State University, that discovered several plagiarized application essays for its graduate program. Sadly, plagiarism in the admission essay for graduate and undergraduate programs exists beyond this business college and is even present outside the United States.

Plagiarism

Simply put, plagiarism is making other people’s ideas and words seem as if they are one’s own. This problem has existed for a long time and in all forms of literature, not only in essays but also in poetry, in songs and all sorts of written work.

These days, furthermore, the problem of plagiarism in the academic setting has increased because there is a lot writing available on the Internet. Not only are there more sources of ideas and words available, but word processing software has made it easy to highlight or mark passages from Internet sources, copying, and pasting them onto a student’s work. In addition to the admission essay, this problem also happens with regular term essays, term papers, school homework and other writings.

Software and other more comprehensive services have been developed to remedy such issues. As the Internet gains popularity among students to make plagiarism a more or less commonplace problem in the schools, so will anti-plagiarism technology continue to evolve.

Why plagiarize?

Although there are many reasons plagiarism, a major reason for its presence in student writing is the need to sound serious or learned. Admittedly, many teachers and professors put a lot of importance to such things and as a result, many plagiarized writing has gotten high grades.

Some students also resort to plagiarism to reach assigned lengths or word counts in their essays. Others have done this because of lack of time for research, for thinking up a coherent idea, or such things.

By whatever reason, they provide the first steps of a vicious cycle.

Particularly in writing an admission essay for graduate or undergraduate programs, plagiarism has a sad component since these are supposed to show what kind of people the students are and what they are capable of becoming. Using other peoples’ words hides those from the readers.

Searching for the right ones

Admission boards are faced with a big problem regarding plagiarism. However, like many issues concerning education, this is a complex problem with many components that has to be examined. Acknowledgment of the problem’ existence and the development of short-term remedies can be the first steps towards a solution but the battle, so to speak, has just begun.

Use The Right Sample Essay And Look Like A Hero

Choosing a college or university is a big concern for many students, but passing the application process proves to be more challenging. If you plan to enroll in a prestigious university, you may have to undergo a stringent application process because there may be thousands of other students who have the same goal as yours.

Colleges and universities consider an applicant’s essay as one of the most important part of his application. A badly written college essay can cause an exceptional student to get rejected. On the other hand, a well-written essay can increase the chances of an average student to get accepted to even the most prestigious schools. 

One important key to coming up with the best college essay is to use the right sample essay as a guide. If you feel that you have done so much in your life that people should look at you like a hero, then by all means mention your accomplishments in your college essay.

If you think that your writing abilities are exceptional and that you do not need a sample essay as a guide, you may need to think again. A college essay may require you to go beyond the elements of writing that you have been accustomed to. Reading sample essays will help you come up with various styles that will help you get your message across with clarity and consistency.

If you have friends who have been successful with their college applications, you may be lucky for them to allow you to read their own essays. 

However, since not many people are willing to do this, you can rely on sample college essays online. Choose a sample essay that is interesting to read, and has the message and clarity that you want to see in your own essay. However, you need to be careful not to plagiarize other people’s works.

There are several websites online that offer sample college essays. You may find many of these helpful especially if you are a beginner. 

Many successful college applicants have used these samples, so they may also help you succeed with your application. Finding the right sample should be easy, since there are hundreds of them available online. There are even websites that keep a database of these samples for college applicants to choose from. You simply need to choose the right keywords to be able to find the appropriate sample essays.

How Bad Sample Essays Can Lead To Denial

1.Impact of Bad Personal Statement Examples to College/University Admission

2.How to Avoid Applying Bad Sample Essays

Most students learn how to write college admission essays, known as personal statements, through sample essays. There are essays that actually provided good examples to guide them in writing personal statements. However, there are sample essays that mislead high school students in writing supposedly good college admission essays, which turn out to be actual samples that were rejected by most colleges and universities all over the U.S. and United Kingdom. 

Most of these “bad” samples feature plagiarized statements, grammatical errors, and statements written in illustrative figures, like a human out of words. College and university admission committees reject these personal statements not only because they lacked sense of professionalism but also enthusiasm of students who wrote them towards studying their chosen course in their aspired college or university. 

Bad samples of personal statements are common in high school students because some students find these essays difficult to write in comparison to other ways in seeking admission to college, which are through entrance exams and awarded scholarships. 

Plagiarism is a main problem when writing these admission essays, especially when students who plagiarized statements from sample essays considered their actions as an easy way out to college admission. Since bad sample essays can become impediments to achieving college education, especially in today’s economic climate, it is important that you avoid the pitfalls provided by bad samples in writing personal statements.

Knowing whether a sample college admission essay is good or bad varies by the content and format of the essay. If you are having trouble in making your personal statement original, you can turn to Copyscape or Articlechecker.com to verify the uniqueness of your essay. 

To keep your personal statements original, you must adapt or paraphrase the existing sentences or paragraphs from sample essays. Grammatical errors are common in bad sample essays, so if you want to make sure that your essay is filled with correct punctuation and complies with the subject-verb agreement rules, you can use free online grammar checkers such as Whitesmoke Free Online Checker. Writing your first draft can help you learn the structure of personal statement, although you must not apply the same language you used in you first draft to your actual essay.

Knowing the flawed elements of a sample essay is crucial to ensuring the success of your personal statement. Bad sample essays have been rejected by college and university admission committees because they are simply “bad” in both content and format. 

Be careful of writing admission essays since they can become your “tickets” to college or university admission.

How to Handle Waiting Lists

The waitlist can sometimes be worse than a straight rejection. You often don’t know where to go, especially if you have been waitlisted for a college that you really want to attend. You can’t just look at the stars for answers, though; you have to make your next few moves.

Decide based on reality and statistics.

So, are you going to wait it out or are you going to ditch the possibility for something more definite? Sometimes, it is hard to make a decision when a dream school is involved. However, it is time to face reality. If your dream school is Duke University, for example, you just might want to focus on the other schools in your list. The university is known for accepting less than a hundred even when they have thousands in the waiting list.

Give a quick response.

If you don’t really like the college or if you feel you don’t really have much of a chance in that school, you just might give up your slot in the waiting list. By doing this, you are giving others a stronger chance of getting in. On the other hand, if you want in then you must immediately send another essay about yourself that show just how interested you are in the college.

Study your list of college choices.

Start looking at your other options. Compare your college admissions resume against the requirements of the other colleges you are applying to. See if you have stronger chances in those schools and focus on them.

A waitlist does not mean that you have to remain in inaction. You have to study your next steps more carefully.

Sample nursing personal statement essay

The nursing school application essay outline and sample essay below was organized using information a site visitor sent us.  

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Check out our free sample essay writing program and send us your information today.

I.  Background in nursing

a.  Excelling as a registered nurse
b.  Experience in ICU
c.  Change in perspective

II.  Practical experience and the change

a.  Caring for patients with ventricular assist devices, ventilators, CVVH, etc.
b.  Significance of compassion and helping
c.  “You never know how strong you are…”

III.  Pursuing a master’s degree in Nurse Anesthesia

a.  Wholistic nurse
b.  Continued growth and development as a nurse/human being
c.  Sharing with others through education/interaction
d.  Teaching experience and being part of Confusion and Delirium committee
e.  Wanting more

IV.   Aspirations for the future

a.  Practicing nursing anesthesia
b.  Becoming a teacher
c.  Preparing the minds of the future
d.  Symbol of the circle

When I first entered the field of nursing, my main ambition was to excel in my practice as a registered nurse.  After completing my studies, I trained and worked as a registered nurse in the intensive care unit, taking care of patients and aiding doctors in the surgical intensive care unit, obstetrical suites, and the medical intensive care unit.  As I continued my nursing career, my perspective, goals, and outlook began to change.  Instead of simply wanting to be a great nurse, my direction and focus took a shift toward taking my profession to new heights.

When I was tasked to care after patients with ventricular assist devices, ventilators, CVVH, and Rotoprone beds because of multiple organ failure, my eyes and my heart were opened to new and profound revelations about my profession and my aspirations.  In order to work effectively and efficiently, nurses, doctors, and other medical staff need to have a compassionate heart toward their patients and toward life in general.  The stresses and challenges that have come my way throughout the years would easily have overwhelmed me if not for the care and empathy that I feel toward the patients and people that I deal with.  

Having been fortunate enough to be exposed to the struggles and triumphs of the patients I deal with has given new meaning to one of my favorite quotes: “You never know how strong you are… until being strong is the only option.”  I now feel a deeper and more profound respect and responsibility toward the people around me, especially toward the patients for whom I do everything I can to play a part in saving their lives.  Now, I feel my own calling to show strength, fortitude, determination, and dedication toward my goal, that I can aid more patients on their journey to a healthy recovery.

My main reason for pursuing a master’s degree in Nurse Anesthesia is to fulfill my aspiration to become a holistic nurse who can provide services as a patient’s advocate, social worker, educator, practitioner, and comforter.  

By earning a master’s degree in Nurse Anesthesia, I am hoping to encounter new and even more challenging experience that will help on my continued growth and development, not only as a practitioner, but also as a human being.  Not only will I play a critical role in life-saving procedures, but I will also have the opportunity to share my experience with others through educating patients and other colleagues in the field of nursing.  

Following this path, I taught classes on hemodynamic monitoring while using the pulmonary artery catheter.  I also became a part of the Confusion and Delirium committee, which analyzes the amount of sedatives being used for every ventilated patient to evaluate if we are unnecessarily over-sedating patient’s due to delirium caused by other metabolic issues.  When I was given a performance award for providing education to other staff members, I felt extremely satisfied and fulfilled, although I had a hunger for more.

Providing education and being a part of such committees has allowed me to experience healthcare in a more holistic manner, and now I want to take that a step further by earning a master’s degree in Nursing Anesthesia.  As I pursue my studies and profession in nursing anesthesia, I hope to open the doors to new opportunities to help others.  By earning my nursing anesthesia education from this institution, I know that I will have the best chances of fulfilling my passion to help others and seeing the fruits of my labor.   

Furthermore, I intend to spend the latter portion of my career as an educator, and earning a master’s degree will be essential for me to reach this goal.

Just the thought of being able to offer something as small as a few hours of my time to change or even save the life of another person is what motivates and drives me to succeed at bringing my career full circle, as a holistic nurse who will continue the tradition of education in the field of nursing, preparing those who will be the nursing and medical leaders of the future.

Masters in Psychology sample admission essay

This essay is based on actual biographical information sent by a reader of this blog.  If you’d like a free sample essay and outline, please check out our free essay post and send your information today.  

Please note that whatever sample essay material we post on this blog is solely aimed at helping you organize/write your own essay.  Please don’t copy any materials on this blog and turn it in as your own work.

Masters in Psychology Sample Admission Essay Outline

I. Background
a.  Growing up in church community
b.  Learning values
c.  Joining and founding church programs

II.  Education and perspective

a.  BA in Theology (Leadership and Ministry)
b.  Belief in the need to help others
c.  Intention of earning a Master’s in Counseling Psychology
d.  Aspiration to be a church/biblical counselor

III.  Purpose

a.  Going beyond evangelization to reach out to others
b.  Helping people in need/distress
c.  Advantage of being a counselor in church community setting
d.  Bolstering the community
e.  Helping people be happier and more fulfilled with their lives

Growing up, my family and I have always played an active role in our church community.  

Be it in taking part in
community events, attending Bible study meetings, or simply attending services, I always enjoyed and felt fulfilled in
being a part of the church and having the opportunity to help those around me.  Growing up as a part of the church, I
learned the value of community, healthy fear and love for God, and deep respect and sense of responsibility toward
those around me.  

As such, I found myself becoming increasingly involved in the community.  Not only would I join
more church activities, but I would also start founding and leading my own youth programs.  With God’s grace, I was
fortunate enough to find and heed my calling at an early age, making it easier for me to choose my
educational and vocational paths.

In college, I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Theology – Leadership and Ministry.  It was a course that fit right with
my interests, my passion, and my desire to help those around me.  

I believe that God has ordained us leader in the local church as His primary vessel to tend to the personal distresses and needs of those around us.  Unfortunately, not
many people are willing or able to take the reigns for such a task, which is why I have dedicated myself to the calling of
being of service to others as God’s instrument of compassion and love.  My goal is to pursue a higher level of
education that will compliment my background as a Theology graduate and give me all of the tools, training, and
knowledge necessary to be the best counselor I can be within the church setting. 

 I intend on earning a degree in
Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology so that I can pursue my aspirations of developing and enhancing Bible
counseling programs that will be integrated into the local church community.

I have always believed that Christian service goes beyond evangelization and that there is a true need to reach out to
others in ways that will touch their minds and hearts so that they may lead more rewarding lives.  

The unique advantage
of being a counselor within the local church is that the community itself serves as a well of strength, sympathy,
compassion, care, love, acceptance, help, and hope for those who are in need of counseling.  As a counselor in my
church community, I truly feel that I can help others by mobilizing these resources, creating new programs, and
reforming existing programs to provide the best possible help to those in need of counseling.

By building loving and caring relationships with members of the church community, counselors are able to support those in need and those in distress, to restore their hope, faith, and love in Christ so they may lead more productive, happier, and more fulfilling lives. 

This is my dream, and I believe that this institution will provide me with the best education, training, and experience in Counseling Psychology to help me heed my calling.

Sample essay using CHANGE as a theme

One of our readers sent in a request for a free sample essay outline and sample draft essay.  Here is the finished draft.  If you’d like a free essay sample and outline, you need pay for it).
I. The world is changing

a.  How I view changes
b.  Purpose of application

II.  Strategic Management Master program, Rotterdam school of management

a.  Reasons for choosing Strategic Management Master Program
b.  Reasons for selecting Rotterdam School of Management

III. Contribution

a.  Contribution to the institution
b.  Constribution to the society

IV. Problems faced

a.  Separated parents
b.  Weakness in writing

Sample essay:

Indeed, “the world is changing,” as the lyrics of my favorite song goes.  But is this change for the better?  I believe the answer depends on who asks the question.

Today, companies are growing fast and the ways we do business is changing as well.  New forms of doing business arise and business itself expands to an international scale.  I say that change is a good thing for me because I have always dreamed of working in a corporate landscape where healthy competitions and opportunities for development are everywhere.  I imagine myself working in a big consultancy company where I can meet challenges with real-time solutions, conceive ideas, and tap potentials that could help advance my career and contribute to my personal growth as a person and as a business professional.

I know that all these will someday turn into a reality with the help of a degree in Strategic Management Master Program of Rotterdam School of Management, Erasmus University.  This program will introduce me to the multi-faceted functions of a successful business enterprise.  It will also equip me with ideas and analytical tools that could me when I go further into the corporate world.

I chose the Rotterdam School of Management of Erasmus University in Europe because I want to pursue my education in a first-world country, where business success is legendary and almost everywhere.  I want to know how successful people and business corporations conduct business, using different types of effective strategies.  Erasmus University can provide me the education and training I need, as it is known for developing the minds of its students toward the fast-changing world.  The knowledge and skills I will acquire from the program will help me be a competent business leader in the arena of global development.

If the University deems me worthy to be nurtured under its wing, I can offer my experiences, knowledge, and skills to this institution and help create a more collaborative intellectual environment for us students.  I will use the training and experience in the University to help spread new ideas and continue to innovate as a free-thinking individual.  I hope that someday, I can help generate more jobs that offer decent wages to workers by seeking new and effective ways for the business to grow with help from Strategic Management.

I am confident that I can succeed in the program because I never stop dreaming and look at the positive ways to make life better.  Even if my parents got separated at my very young age, I didn’t see it as an obstacle.  There were difficult times, but I focused on the brighter side of things.  Although our family life has changed, it didn’t make me any less of a person.  I’m proud to say that my parents, though separated, worked together in making me a more confident and well-rounded individual.  They trust me to make my own decisions and go for the things that will make me a better person.  By putting so much faith in me, I don’t see failure as mere hindrance but also as a stepping stone.

Although writing this essay was a big challenge for me, since I don’t consider myself much of an articulate writer, I learned that with perseverance and dedication, there are ways to make things possible.  And I want to take my chance by getting the education I need to succeed in my chosen field.

What Makes Some Sample Admission Essays Attention Grabbing

Reading a sample admissions essay is a great way to learn how to write your own. Excellent sample admissions essays can be used as guidelines when you start writing your own. Read the article to know what are the elements found in notable sample essays. You can visit SAS for more information.

Motivation on sample admission essays

What makes you tick? Why have you made the decisions you have made? What energizes and inspires you? And perhaps, why do you want to go into your chosen field?

The questions above should be answered in your personal statement. Your motivations will reveal if you are truly fitting to be on the school where you are applying to. When you talk about your motivation, it is best that you make your passion evident.

Perspiration in essays

When in the past have you sweated to achieve? When have you dedicated yourself to a cause or goal? When have you worked hard, investing time and effort, to impact and contribute? What did your hard work achieve?

You also have to emphasize your accomplishments and efforts that paid off. In this way, the admissions panel will see that you are a person who is active and who is equipped with the skills and knowledge to survive the journey ahead.

Aspirations in essay samples

Where are you headed? What are your goals and what do you aspire to do immediately after you complete your degree? And more importantly, why are you interested in this school’s program?

It is best that you show that you are a person with clear goals and dreams. You can talk about how you see yourself several years from now in your essay.

Possible contribution on sample essays

It is also important that you mention the contributions you can give to the school and the community if you were given the chance to study in that specific institution. This site shares interesting insights.

What will you contribute to the medical school community?

You need to ask this question and provide a clear answer in your essay. Make sure that you answer it with sincerity.

Be warned, however, that you might encounter the danger of plagiarizing the works of others. This is why you need to use your own voice and talk about your own experiences when writing your personal statement to avoid plagiarizing other people’s works. Again, you can include your motivation, perspiration, aspirations, and possible contribution to society if you want to write an essay that is as notable as the sample essays you read online.

Clinical counseling admission essay excerpt and outline

This free essay assistance package was prepared in accordance with our free essay assistance program.  To get free help, please find the essay assistance offer on this site and send us your request.  First come, first served.

Counseling is not merely a career choice but a chance to touch lives. By pursuing a career in clinical counseling, I will be able to apply my educational background as well as my work experience in a setting where I can be of most value. Currently, I am engaged in providing services for the youth with special needs. My experience has taught me more about the benefits of giving back to the community. 

Being passionate about helping people is rewarding in so many ways. This is why I want to enroll in a clinical counseling course in _______ University. 

I chose such an institution not only because of its prestige but because it gives great importance to outreach programs.

I. Counseling is not only a career.
A. Counseling is a way to reach out and touch the lives of others.
B. I have learned, through experience, the benefits of reaching out to others.
C. Working with children with special needs has made me a better person who can help out others.
D. The ______ University is the best venue to obtain training and education on clinical counseling.

II. I have a diverse professional and educational experience.
A. I am a holder of a Bachelor of Arts Degree. I majored in Sociology and minored in Criminal Justice.
B. I attained a Master’s degree in Urban Sociology in 2011.
C. I received my Special Education Certification in 2013.
D. Currently, I work with special children and pre-school kids with disabilities.

III. A counselor must have self-awareness in order to be effective.
A. During my stint as an intern for a medical clinic, I learned that self-awareness is essential for a counselor to better relate to the experiences of his or her patients.
B. The diverse professional experiences I had with people of various ages and backgrounds taught me more about myself.

IV. Where I see myself ten years from now.
A. Ten years from now, I see myself as someone who has a successful counseling career.
B. I see myself not only engaged in counseling as a career but also in research that will enrich the field of clinical counseling.

Dissolving Gender Inequality

Admission essay excerpt and outline for college.

Essay Question: Salt, governments, beliefs, and celebrity couples are a few examples of things that can be dissolved. You’ve just been granted the power to dissolve anything: physical, metaphorical, abstract, concrete you name it. What do you dissolve, and what solvent do you use?

Certain social and cultural norms continue to dictate gender inequality. One such example is the presence of communities in certain countries that prevent a woman from getting the healthcare she needs because it is taboo in her society to travel to a health clinic alone. This is just one example of the hundreds of cases wherein women are not allowed access to proper healthcare. As someone who is given the power to dissolve anything, I will dissolve gender inequality in healthcare access through re-education. 

I believe that social and cultural norms that distort gender beliefs can be changed through proper education. As a young woman applying to college, I want to be a gynecologist and help re-educate people from different cultures regarding the importance of gender equality, especially in terms of proper health education and healthcare practices for women.

Outline

I. Introduction
A. Pervading issue of gender inequality in terms of healthcare access
B. Gender inequality as one issue I would like to dissolve and education as the solvent
C. The reason why I want to pursue a course in gynecology is to be a women’s healthcare professional who can help change the way people view certain cultural beliefs and norms in relation to proper healthcare access.

II. My achievements as a student
A. As an active student, I’ve joined several extra-curricular groups that promote the preservation of cultural beliefs.
B. I’ve earned recognitions for my academic achievements.
C. Some of the clubs I’ve joined that promote physical and mental health among women include belly dancing, Indian dance, and Latin fitness.
D. My participation in several civic groups is a proof of my commitment to help others.

III. Why I chose this school
A. Curriculum – The school offers an excellent curriculum that meets my educational needs as I achieve my goal.
B. Environment – The school has the perfect learning environment that will inspire me to do my best as I achieve my goal of becoming a gynecologist
C. Quality of education – The school is known for its high quality of education.

Reaffirming My Real Passion in Life

Graduate program excerpt and outline.

Starting a new life in the US, that’s when I reaffirmed my real passion in life, that is, to provide specialized care for patients as a registered nurse. After working my way through a nursing program at ____ College and having been granted my RN license, I then worked in different patient care units. I can say that I truly enjoy caring for others, as if it’s my life’s mission to alleviate other people’s discomfort. Being part of many community events sponsored by the healthcare provider I work for, I realized the important role I can take as a health care specialist representing the Hispanic community. To fill in this very important role, I’m applying for the graduate program of ______ so I can provide expert nursing care to the best of my abilities. The training and education provided by the program will prepare me in assuming a more challenging position in this field.

Outline:

I. Introduction

A. Reaffirming my passion in life
i. I completed a nursing program at ____ College and was granted an RN license.
ii. With my license, I was able to work in different patient care units as a nurse.
iii. I find great joy and fulfillment in caring for others and alleviating their discomfort and pain, as if it’s my life’s mission.

B. Applying for the graduate program
i. I participated in many community events sponsored by the health care provider I work for.
ii. Through these events, I saw the need for more health care professionals who can better represent the Hispanic community.
iii. I’d like to fill in this role and be of good service to the community as part of the health care workforce that can provide specialized care.
iv. By applying for the graduate program of ____, I can have the professional training and education I need to take on a very challenging and important position in the field.

II. My experience

A. Education
i. With a foreign medical degree, I was able to practice in Mexico before moving to the US.
ii. Because of personal reasons, I didn’t readily pursue a medical degree when I came to the US, but found myself truly passionate about patient care so I heed to my calling and completed a nursing program at _____ College.
iii. After obtaining my RN license, I don’t want it to stop from there. I want to continue my education and fully take advantage of my experience in the healthcare field with a foreign medical degree.
iii. I am planning on taking a CDE (certified diabetes educator) exam next year so I can better care for diabetes patients.

B. My passion
i. I want to be a family nurse practitioner so I can provide more specialized care, especially for diabetes patients.
ii. I want to be part of the health care workforce that can fill in the gap for health care specialists that can represent and best understand the Hispanic community in our county.

III. What I have to offer

A. Dedication
i. I’m committed to fully realizing my goals through perseverance.
ii. I enjoy life to the fullest and I want people to share this positive outlook, despite their conditions. I make sure that people I care for keep a positive attitude and that I can somehow inspire them to treasure their life more.

B. Hard work
i. I’ve always been very diligent, and despite the odds, I have worked hard to fulfill my dreams and was able to get an RN license as a professional.
ii. I am hardworking and responsible.
iii. I have all the good reasons to pursue a graduate program.